Tuesday, May 17, 2011

only whelmed.

shuffling the pages as
she gazes out across a tumultuous façade
she keeps wondering why he could never
drown himself:
he would always come up
                        gasping
choking on the words he’d already
spoken, and the thoughts he held tight
through the deluge

frankly, she thinks the coming storm
looks horribly calming, but
the azaleas think the purple-gray is wrong.
while raindrops freckle the
stone
she reasons that water must be
the angel of life and death:
she stomps out the reflections

too quickly, for if she had held
eyes toward the shimmering surface
seconds more
she would have seen him spinning
and not have flinched quite so horribly
when she turned, and
            he turned
to face the drenched, empty eyes
before the barely-afloat girl.

8 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. If you can be overwhelmed... and you can be underwhelmed...can you just be whelmed?

    I think in britain you can!

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  3. whelm:
    n: an act or instance of flowing or heaping up abundantly; a surge.
    v: to engulf, submerge, or bury (someone or something)

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  4. It was a quote from the bestest movie ever, "10 Things I Hate About You" but you wouldn't know because you haven't seen it! :P

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  5. I've definitely seen that movie, Hay! In my mum's office in the basement, on her computer from Netflix instant.... yep, pretty sure it was that movie!

    And anyways, *I* didn't know there was such thing as simply being whelmed until I saw it in the thesaurus, haha.

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  6. Oh that's right, I forced you to watch it...Isn't it awesome??

    Anyway, I'm going to comment on your poem now :)

    Comments of Awesome!!:
    I totally love this
    "he would always come up
    gasping
    choking on the words he’d already
    spoken, and the thoughts he held tight
    through the deluge" (Après moi, le deluge, after me comes the flood)

    and this
    "the azaleas think the purple-gray is wrong" because you personified the azaleas awesomely :D

    This poem has great imagery and I like it. It was good :)

    Write more and stay awesome. Got it? Got it. Good.

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  7. Okay--I've already copied , "frankly, she thinks the coming storm
    looks horribly calming, but
    the azaleas think the purple-gray is wrong.
    while raindrops freckle the
    stone
    she reasons that water must be
    the angel of life and death:
    she stomps out the reflections" and now see Haley has done the same--but really I love her as she, "stomps, and the azaleas purple gray think and the raindrops freckle--wow

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  8. Wordage <3 Your imagery is amazing. I know this has been said twice over now, but the stanza describing when the "raindrops freckle the stone" is my favorite. It brings that image to the forefront of my mind incredibly clearly!

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